nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
