I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
