I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
