Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
