1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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