so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
