Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How naked do you want me to be?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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