I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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