it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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