So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
