The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
