you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize