Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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