Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
