I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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