you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
