Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
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You. Win. At. Life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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