He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The Olympian is in my bed
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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