I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize