Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
