I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
