He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
