do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
