After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
