So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize