Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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