I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
