I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
