We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
