then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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