Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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