I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
