I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
