Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
no, he came in my armpit
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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