Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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