saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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