He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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