Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
