U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
