I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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