I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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