My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
