Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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