Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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