girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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