If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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