She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
