You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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