dude i'm inner monologue high
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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