We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
