I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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