I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I faked an abortion last night.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
