We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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