Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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