her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
