New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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