Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
