Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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