Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
