have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
