You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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