if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
