All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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