Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
