Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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