Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
